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summer_of_giles2008-06-04 07:49 pm
devylish.livejournal.com) wrote in summer_of_giles2008-06-04 07:49 pm
Entry tags:
Fic What I Want (Giles/Anya) PG13 Chap 2 Ch-ch-changes
TITLE What I Want
CHAP 2 (of 6?) Ch-ch-ch-changes
CHAP 2 (of 6?) Ch-ch-ch-changes
FANDOM Buffy The Vampire Slayer
PAIRING Ganya Spuffy… More ganya than anything
PAIRING Ganya Spuffy… More ganya than anything
AUTHOR Devylish
WORDS 2857
WARNINGS AU timeline, Tara’s around, Dawn is 17, Anya and Xander are together but not engaged, Spike and Buffy are ‘foolin’ around’ but it’s still a secret – and Buffy is still torn about how she feels for Spike. Oh and yes… yes, Giles and Anya SHOULD be together!
RATING PG13/K+ this chap due to a lil language.
AN What a fricking difference a beta makes!!! And TWO, TWO is better than one! mobile_alh and Xela Ebonie thanks ever so much for helping me beat back the elliptical monster that seems to live in me!!! You were BOTH dolls and oh soooo much help! All remaining mistakes are mine mine mine!!!!
AN2 part of my entry for the Summer of Giles LJ
AN3 Chap 3 is with a betttttaaaaaaaaa
AN3 Chap 3 is with a betttttaaaaaaaaa
WIW WIW WIW WIW WIW
“But Xander --.”
“Seriously Ahn, I don’t have time right now. We’ll talk when I get home.” He picked up his tool belt.
“Xander, you won’t be home until after 6!”
“And?”
“We’re suppose to go to Giles’ tonight; he scheduled this gang meeting dinner thing….”
“Right, so we’ll talk after.”
But Xander --.”
“Not now Ahn!” He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, “later.”
Anya plopped down on the chair as the door closed behind Xander.
Humans. Xander-like-humans in particular – were confusing. And frustrating. Very, very frustrating. He didn’t do the things that humans in love were suppose to do. He didn’t talk to her. And he didn’t listen to her.
These days, the few times they were actually alone together – say over dinner – she would try and talk to him about his day, or share her day with him; she’d tell him about the money she’d earned, the items she had sold, and – nothing. He listened with half an ear and responded hardly at all.
If she did somehow get Xander to listen to her thoughts, he, nine times out of ten, dismissed them as foolish… or impossible.
Sighing, Anya looked around the apartment. She’d cleaned it earlier... the dishes were done…. She wasn’t even needed at the shop today as they were only open for a half day so that Giles could prepare his little celebratory dinner tonight. She supposed closing shop early was a plus of being a small business owner, but it kind of hurt to think about all of the wonderful money they wouldn’t be making this afternoon. Anyway, Giles was covering the 9am -1pm shift, so Anya was, well and truly, left with nothing to do for the day.
Curling up and laying her head against the arm of the couch, she closed her eyes. She’d wanted to talk to Xander so desperately for the past couple of weeks – for the past few months if she was honest – but he was impossible to pin down.
Hmmmpf. If she could just talk to him, get him to listen to her, maybe they could fix it. Fix what was broken between them.
But he didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to listen. Not to her. He’d listen to what Willow had to say… what Buffy had to say… but never to what she had to say.
Opening her eyes and rolling on to her back, she stared at the ceiling and softly cursed. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take. How much longer she could handle feeling like she was the spare tire in Xander’s life – only whipped out when his main tires were out of whack. She wanted – needed – to be with a man who thought she was wonderful. She wanted, and needed, to be with someone who felt she was beautifully vibrant, and not audaciously embarrassing.
Expelling a puff of air she threw her arm over her eyes. She’d tried everything she could think of to win Xander over. She kept the apartment clean. She gave him sex regularly (well, as often as he wanted it, although she could definitely handle a few more rolls in the proverbial hay on a weekly basis). She even shared the money she made with him; purchasing gifts for his tool belt, and home.
Nothing had worked.
Maybe she should dye her hair…. Or try that new makeup that she’d seen in the store.
Anya sat up with a rush. Yes. That was it. She’d go to the store, buy some hair dye and make herself over. If Xander was bored with her… wanting someone new… maybe she could make herself someone he would appreciate… and desire.
WIW WIW WIW WIW WIW
An hour and a half later found Anya tapping impatiently at the Summers’ door.
‘I’m always available when they need me, where are they when I need them?’ Anya had already spent half an hour at the store looking at hair colorings and was now completely confused as to whether Honestly Red, Rather Raspberry, Dangerously Dark, Chocolate Cherub, or a list of other colors was going to be the right look for her.
She’d stopped at the dorms, looking for Willow to no avail, so now she was at Buffy’s home… looking for another woman’s take and opinion on the color dilemma.
Raising her hand to knock again, she stopped when the door finally swung open.
“Dawn!”
“Anya….”
“Um, yes, is Buffy home?”
“Nope.”
“Oh Bunny Turds!”
Dawn paused, biting back a laugh, “Uh, do you wanna come in?”
“Will she be back soon?”
“I kinda doubt it. “ Dawn stepped to the side and let Anya enter. “She said she was going to look for a job… which these days, I think is code for, ‘I’m going to go and spend time with Spike but I don’t want you to know about it.’”
Anya headed in with a pout then her eyes widened and she smirked. “Spike? And Buffy?! Ha! I knew it! I knew it! I told Xan--,” She paused when she remembered her reason for coming to the Summers’ home. “Crap!”
“What’s up, Anya?”
“I…” she looked at the younger Summers, “Nothing. I just wanted Buffy’s opinion on something.”
“Why doesn’t anyone ever want my opinion?” Dawn asked petulantly. “I have taste… and style… and, and…. Is it something about weapons? Cuz, that really is more a Buffy thing.”
“No. No weapons. Well, maybe umm, womanly weapons.”
Dawn plopped down on the couch and grinned. “Womanly weapons! I’ve got womanly stuff. I mean,” she looked down at her frame, “I’m a woman. A young woman. So I have weapons… ish.”
Anya looked speculatively at Dawn. She was youthful, fresh-faced, beautiful… perhaps she could help.
“Okay.” Settling next to Dawn Anya poured out her plan. “I need to win Xander’s love and attention and desire back so that we can talk, and listen, and orgasm more together, and I think the best way, the only way left, for me to do that is to change my look, dye my hair, maybe start using some new make up so that he’ll notice me again, and I‘d like for you to come with me to the convenience store and help me choose a color of hair dye, and maybe some makeup.”
“Huh?”
Anya sighed and started again, “I need to win Xander’s –“
“No, no. I heard what you said, but, umm, yeah… I’m going to have to go with ‘huh’ again.”
Anya paused, uncertain as to what she had said that was confusing.
“Why are you trying to change in order to make Xander notice you?” Dawn asked the question with a frown. “I mean, I love Xander,” she flushed a light shade of pink, “so, I understand you wanting to, ummm, be loved by him, but…,” with a rush Dawn spit out her thoughts, “I kinda think if he’s too slow, or immature to notice how wonderful you are – the way you are – it’s his loss.”
“But, maybe … maybe if I just --.”
“Geesh! You’re no better than Spike!”
“Spike? Me?”
“Yeah… you two are spending way too much time trying to find ways to make someone else notice you.”
Anya thought for a minute, “You like Spike. You want him and Buffy to be together. But you don’t think he should fight for her?”
“It’s not that he shouldn’t fight for her… He should… he just needs to make certain she knows that he isn’t going away. And he needs to make certain she’s aware that with ‘Spike’ comes ‘William’ and all the good and bad that that entails. He wants to paint her a rosy picture and he tries to erase parts of himself so that he fits her ‘ideals’ better. Personally, I think that if Buffy can’t take him as he is, she doesn’t deserve him.” Dawn paused, “on the other hand, if Spike ever hurts my sister, I’ll stake him for her.”
Dawn smiled at her Buffyesque threat.
“You know, Buffy and Spike ARE in a different situation from you and Xander in some ways. Buffy, for instance, would notice Spike in a room of a thousand vampires. She would sense his presence if she was deaf and blind. But Xander… Xander isn’t that way about… about –“
“About me.” Anya finished the sentence. “Don’t you think that I can make him feel that way about me? Make him notice me, if I just,” Anya’s hands flew up and she waved them around her face and hair, “changed ‘something’?”
“So you’re asking me if I think you should become ‘less of you’ in order to make Xander want you?” Dawn tilted her head to the side in a very Summersish way. “Why would you want to be someone else when you’re so great?”
“What if not being ‘me’ makes ‘me’ more lovable?” Anya lowered her head, playing with the hem of her skirt.
“’Lovable’” Dawn air-quoted the word, “is Anya saying what Anya wants to say about sex and demons and stuff. Lovable is Anya being a blonde… or a red head, or a brunette… because SHE wants to be blonde, red, brown. Lovable is Anya worrying about making her loved one happy without worrying about how she can make him happy by ‘fixing’ herself –when she isn’t broken.”
“So, you’re saying ‘no’ to the hair dye?”
“I’m kinda saying ‘no’ to the trying to change for anyone. I think I’m saying find someone who makes you happy inside and out, and who loves you for your insides and your outsides.”
“A Crebfarn Demon?”
“A whosiwhatsits?”
“A Crebfarn Demon – they mate with their spouses through shedding their skin and melding their organs. The resulting eggs are then placed on the shed skins, and they feed off of them until they hatch.”
“Okay, to quote Buffy: “Ewwww!” Erh, I wasn’t suggesting you peel off your skin or organ mate or anything. I was kind of suggesting you find out if Xander loves you as you are, and if he doesn’t, ummm move on and find someone new. Only,” Dawn blushed again, “let the Xan-man down easy, he’s kinda fragile even though he’s a little immature. There’s umm, still hope that he’ll grow up someday.”
“I don’t want to hurt Xander. But, I’m so tired. I’m so at the end of my rope. So… so in need.”
“Are we talking sex again?”
“No. Well yes. But no.”
“Ummm, okay.”
“Sex with Xander is good. Very good. When we have it. But, he has become – lackadaisical about the orgasm thing. He says he is too tired when he comes home from work. Or that he ‘just wants to cuddle.’ And while cuddling is good… really… should it ever be ‘just cuddling’? Doesn’t the male of the human species always want more than cuddling? I am personally fed up with cuddling!”
“So we ARE talking sex?”
“No… I got sidetracked.”
Dawn giggled.
“Well, sex is distracting.” She glanced at Dawn. “Don’t tell your sister I said that to you, she’s likely to be frustrated with me for chatting with you about this.”
“Buffy gets prudey around me. Although… ahem, just between you me and the wall, I don’t think she’s quite that prudey around Spike.”
They both giggled and Anya slipped off her shoes and curled up on the couch, soberly admitting to Dawn, “I can’t be alone.”
“Alone?”
“Without someone… someone to hold me… value me.”
“Well that sets women’s lib back about a thousand years.”
“I’m a thousand plus years old!”
“Women don’t neeeeed men anymore Anya.”
“Well, we may not need them, but they – and their manly parts – are awfully nice to have around.”
“Finding your value in how a man – Xander… any man – feels about you: not a good thing.” Dawn philosophized, “Mom always use to say that as soon as we learned to love ourselves we’d be open to finding – and accepting – love from someone else.” Her face brightened slightly at the memory of her mother. “Of course, coming to realize that Xander may not be the right one for you, IS kind of self-love… I mean… it’s you realizing you deserve to be appreciated. Right?”
“Umm, right.”
Dawn raised an eyebrow at the lack of certainty in Anya’s voice.
“You know what you should be looking for?” She mused aloud. “You should be looking for someone like Giles. Someone mature enough to handle your… uh… Anyaisms without being sent for a loop by them.”
“Anyaisms?”
“Declarations of sex needs, sex desires, sex experiences, interspecial sexual occurrences: Anyaisms.”
“Why is sex so disturbing for humans?”
“It isn’t… not for all humans. I’m personally looking forward to sex.”
Anya looked at Dawn then puffed out, “I think I’m feeling kind of like Buffy would if she heard you say that.”
Dawn pouted, “Oh good lord! I’m 17 yrs old… sex is on my mind. And for most of the girls in my school… sex is in their beds!”
“It’s just strange to hear you speak so openly about sex.”
“One word: Anyaisms.”
“Umm yeah… okay.”
“As I was saying… you should find a guy like Giles. Mature. Cute.” Dawn sat up straighter, a gleam in her eye. “He’s tall, and intelligent.”
“His brain is quite impressive.”
“He knows a lot of stuff about… uh, a lot of stuff.” Looking down at her nails, Dawn teased subtly. “Although, I suppose someone like Giles is too old for you.”
“Giles isn’t Old!”
“And while he’s cute… I don’t know if you should settle for ‘just cute’… you need someone really hot.”
“Giles isn’t just cute, he’s handsome! Have you ever seen him when he takes his glasses off…? His eyes are – just really really kind of warm… and kind… and intense.”
Dawn slipped one more criteria in. “Well maybe Giles is kinda handsome, in an older man way, but you also need someone who can fulfill, uh, or meet your umm, desires. Someone who when they kiss you, they kinda make you melt.”
“Oh Giles has melty kisses.” Anya slapped her hand over her mouth as soon as the words left her mouth.
Dawn crowed, “Ha! I knew you liked Giles! You have a thing for Giles!”
“No I don’t!”
Dawn just smiled.
“I don’t! Just because I think he has a cute smile, and wonderful eyes. And he’s all tall and manly-manly like….”
“Don’t forget the smarts.”
“No, I won’t. I mean… his brain is very attractive. And he has that wonderful British humor. But those things don’t mean that I like him or, or anything.”
“What about the kissage?”
“Kissage?”
“You know what Giles kisses like… from the spell that Willow cast?” Dawn lifted a brow questioningly.
“Well, yes, ummm, yes.”
“You know, and you liked it!”
Anya threw her frame back against the cushions of the couch. “I can’t like Giles, I’m with Xander!”
“Are you happy with Xander?”
“Yes! Most of the time…. Sometimes…. No.” Anya hung her head.
“So really, how ‘with him’ are you?”
“So you’re suggesting I should jump Giles’ bones?”
“No!!! Ewww!” Dawn shuddered. “And again I say, EWWWWWW! I can handle you and Giles as a couple… but there should be no mentioning of bones… or jumping… or jumping bones…. Ewwwww!”
Anya’s face melted in the face of memories she hadn’t allowed herself to access for months. The memories of being kissed by Giles. Being held by him. His sheer manliness. “He has lovely bones,” she said dreamily.
“EWW EWW EWWWWW! Okay, I take it back, I AM too young to hear people talk about sex; Giles-type sex.” Dawn stood up. “Tell you what… let’s talk cookies.”
“Cookies?” Anya joined Dawn as she moved into the kitchen.
“I’ve heard that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
“Actually, that’s only partially true. The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his chest… if you are applying enough force. Of course, if you’re weaker, or, if you have a lot of time and just want to cause him extensive pain, then you should go through his stomach.”
Dawn glanced over her shoulder at Anya. “There really IS knowledge that shouldn’t be shared… and I think that what you just shared, yeah, that was one of those pieces of knowledge…. AS I was saying, the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and since we have the Scooby thing tonight, I was thinking, we could make – well YOU could make – cookies and take them over to Giles’. You know… show off your baking skills… make him think about you in a lil’ apron in the kitchen… baking just for him….”
“There are two problems with your little plot, 1) Xander will be at Giles’ tonight too.”
“Yup! And either he’ll finally see how close he is to possibly losing you, or, he’ll realize that he may not be right for you. Bring on problem number two.”
“Okay. Problem 2) I can’t bake.”
Dawn laughed, “I live with Buffy; it’s either learn to cook or die of starvation. I’ve got you covered, Anya!”
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laughter is goood!
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Also, bunny turds? LOL! This chapter had me giggling hard at times (especially at the ending).
Can't wait for more!
~e!
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Can't wait for the next chapter.
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and giles HAS brought the sexy back... hasn't he?
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well think about it, DAwn and Spike always called people on the silly actions. If Dawn saw her sister being unrealistic, she'd tell her. And Spike was constantly noticing the 'real reason' that Buffy, or Xander,et al were doing things....
there's a bit o wisdom in each ofthem lol
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i find i have a heckkkkk of a time with women's voices.... men... i feelcomfortable with, but women.... dude... you would think i WASN'T one! lol....
anyway... i like my dawn voice...i'm still working on my anya!