Start Over (2/2)

[the_huffster]

Title: Start Over
Pairing: Giles/Buffy
Rating: PG
Setting: 2 and a half years post Chosen
Word count: 1,427
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: Five months after a very bad breakup, Giles finds himself having to share a hotel room with his ex-girlfriend during the Council's Christmas party. What could possibly go wrong?
Author's Note: And here is the last part of this fic that went a completely different way then what I thought it would. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it! Again, I had no beta so please feel free to let me know any mistakes you guys find.

Author's Note #2: I am also going to now focus on catching up with commenting on everyone's work so far. Work has been hectic and I was focusing on not missing my posting days this year.

Giles sat at one of the empty tables, nursing a glass of scotch as he watched everyone around him. It seemed as if everyone collectively decided to avoid him once they saw Buffy. Not that the other Watchers and Slayers were flocking to her, but they were all doing their best to stay away from the ex-couple. The exceptions being Willow and Xander who, apart from saying a brief hello, had spent the evening being on the opposite side of the room from him.

He had no doubt that Buffy was telling the others about the hotel room, and most likely about the argument that occurred earlier in the day. However, the more she ranted about the situation the less likely she would try to goad him into a repeat performance. Or at least he hoped so.

“Uh oh, drinking alone is never a good sign when it comes to you.”

The Watcher looked up and smiled softly when he saw Dawn. He stood up and hugged her, chuckling softly when she returned the hug as tightly as she could.

“It’s not that type of drinking.” he assured her as they sat down. “How have you been, Dawn?”

“Good, busy with the whole college thing. But I’ve been good.” The young woman told him.

The two sat at the table catching up for a moment. As Dawn launched into a rant about the latest young man she had been seeing, Giles couldn’t help but be grateful that the falling out with his Slayer hadn’t ruined his relationship with the younger Summers. Of course, he knew she had to be in a difficult position by not picking a side. Not that he would ever ask, or expect, her to choose him over Buffy.

“I heard you’re shacking up with Buffy for the night.” Dawn said casually.

“That would lead someone to believe that your sister and I are on good terms.” He pointed out, taking a sip of his drink. “I forgot to make sure room reservations were changed after we ended things.”

“I’d love to be a fly on the wall for the night.” She chuckled softly. She merely shrugged at the look she received from the Watcher.

“The only thing you would see is a recreation of the last few days of our relationship. All that is missing is something containing glass being thrown at my head.” Giles muttered as he absently rubbed the small scar above his right eye.

The silence that followed his statement made him think that he shouldn’t have said anything. He sighed softly and turned to apologize.

“She brought up the baby, didn’t she?” Dawn cut him off. “I know that’s the hot button for both of you.”

“There wasn’t a baby, Dawn. The first test was a false positive.” He reminded softly. 

“I’m talking about the pregnancy after.”

Giles narrowed his eyes and tilted his head slightly. He could see the obvious confusion on Dawn’s face, knowing it was mirroring his own.

“There was no pregnancy.” He said as he tried to ignore the feeling of dread that had started to take over.

“It was about two months after you guys broke up. When she told me, I thought she was seeing someone else but then she told me about the breakup sex you guys had.” It was clear that Dawn wasn’t sure why she had to explain this to him. “She told you this.”

“I haven’t spoken to Buffy until today.” Giles pointed out. His eyes instantly scanned the room until he found the Slayer, even more confused when she saw her with a glass of wine. “She should be showing if she’s pregnant.”

“A month after she found out, something happened when she went patrolling.”

If Dawn was continuing with her explanation, he didn’t hear it. He mumbled an apology as he stood up and made his way over to the Slayer. He didn’t care if he was about to ruin her evening. There was clearly something they both needed to talk about.

Dawn had to be mistaken. The idea of children had been his downfall with Buffy, but surely she wouldn’t have kept something like actually being pregnant from him. Let alone keep the fact that there had been a miscarriage a secret.

“Buffy, can I speak to you?” he had reached the three friends much faster than he had thought.

“I’m not really in the mood to fight with you.” She told him.

“Please.” Giles said softly.

A moment passed as they looked at each other. He was faintly aware of Willow and Xander coming up with vague reasons to leave them, and had he not been so focused on what he needed to talk to Buffy about he would have been grateful. It was only when they were left alone did she nod slightly.

The Watcher looked around before motioning her to follow him towards the back of the massive ballroom, leading her out one of the back doors. The two walked in silence for a few moments to ensure there would be privacy form anyone else who decided to get fresh air.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” were the first words out of his mouth once they had found a spot.

“Tell you what?” She asked even though he could see the hint of worry in her eyes.

“About the baby, Buffy. Our baby.” Giles clarified, running his fingers through his hair. “The miscarriage.”

“I’m so going to kill Dawn.” She muttered.

“You should have told me, Buffy. I had a right to know.” He said as he fought back his anger at the news.

“Why would I tell you when you made it perfectly clear where you stood on that subject?” she snapped, her own anger just under the surface. “You don’t want kids. I wasn’t going to go through that fight again, let alone seeing the relief on your face when I lost my baby.”

Giles sighed softly and looked down, his heart breaking at how he had made Buffy feel.

“I never met to make you feel like that, Buffy.” His voice was soft as he looked back at her. “I never wanted you to feel like you couldn’t come to me with something like that. Yes, I don’t want children. But that didn’t mean I would have turned my back on our child, that I would have been happy about…I should have been there for you, Buffy.”

“You told me that you didn’t want kids because you were too old. You wouldn’t hear me out or talk to me about it. Why would I think that I could tell you when I was actually pregnant?”

“You’re right. I should have been willing to talk to you about my reason. I shouldn’t have been so selfish.” He said softly. “I know I can’t make up for anything, Buffy, that I can’t take back what was said or what happened.”

“I should have told you about the pregnancy.” She admitted, her arms wrapping around herself. “Things were just so bad between us at the end that…I was afraid that it would get worse if I told you I was pregnant and you would say I was on my own. Ever since we first started dating, I knew you were the one, Giles. Then you were telling me no kids and we weren’t talking and I was pregnant and…”

Her breath hitched as she tried to fight back her tears. Giles quickly stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. He closed his eyes in an effort to fight back his own tears. He had no idea how he had managed to screw things up so bad.

It was another moment before Buffy slowly pulled away from him. At his questioning look, she gave him a small smile to let him know she would be okay. He shrugged off his jacket when he saw her shiver and draped it over her shoulders.

“I think we should continue this conversation later.” He said softly, wanting to give her an out of having to go through everything he had put her through.

“Maybe we can get something eat tomorrow night and talk.” Buffy suggested, much to his surprise.

“I can cook your favorite at my flat.”

The Slayer smiled and nodded in agreement. It would take some time as they talked everything over, but Giles knew that this was a first step towards a fresh start. When Buffy reached out and grabbed his hand, he knew they would be okay.

Comments

[il_mio_capitano]

Gracious, that got depressing. I wasn't expecting that but I should've known really - what with you and the angst!

Interesting while it lasted. Ended far too soon of course!

[littleotter73]

Wow! How heartbreaking! Not sure how a couple reconciles one wanting to have children and the other being adamant about not having children, even in the face of tragedy. I'm just glad they are talking. Even if the issue of children remains a barrier to being together as a couple, at least knowing that the other still cares will help to get their friendship on track. Nicely done.

[quaggy]

Wow, that was an emotional ride. I hope Buffy and Giles will be able to work things out in the future.