summer_of_giles | Fic: The Watcher Watch Diary ‘98 , FRM (8/9)

7/29/98 – Oz

I’m glad to be back. It was nice to get out and play new venues, but playing in a different place every night can be exhausting. Plus, I missed my Willow. When I got home I thought I sensed some tension between Wil and Giles. Now that I’ve read what’s been going on for the last month, I see why.

It seems like we’ve developed a strategy now. Giles’ energy is best focused on Buffy, while we try our best with the vamps. Even after this was agreed, Watcher-man pulled Xand and me aside and made us swear not to let anything happen to Willow. He’s worried about all of us, but I think the concern he usually feels for Buffy has combined with his normal worrying for Willow right now. What Angelus told him about things that can happen to the girls is still messing him up inside. He knows we love her, too. In fact, that might be the only reason he trusts us to look after her.

For now, the strategy is to have as much protection as possible, stay together, and do our best not to get killed. Additions to this might develop in time. We’re going out tonight to check out a new grave. Giles has a redeye to catch, but he wants us to check in with him before he leaves. Welcome back to Sunnydale.

7/30/98 – Xander

Vamp got away last night. I guess we can count it as a victory since none of us got hurt or killed. We went about it all wrong. We weren’t organized at all. Maybe if one of us distracted him while the others attacked from different directions… Giles was just happy we were safe, but I think we should talk to him more when he gets back from New Orleans. I’m sure he’ll help us come up with better ideas.

Summer Vamp score: Dusted – 1 Fail – 1

8/7/98 – Willow

We seem to have gotten into a rhythm now. Giles travels somewhere at least once a week. I’m a little afraid he might let himself get too exhausted and aggravate the few things that aren’t fully healed yet. He likes us to believe he’s a hundred percent now, but he doesn’t know how much research I did when we first started helping him. I know the bones are still strengthening and the strained ligaments are still tender. But I also know he has to keep busy or worrying will drive him crazy. So, we’ll keep watching him, and if he drops, we’ll be there to help him back up. It’s all we can do.

Scores:

Giles: New Orleans – No Buffy. But he seemed to like the interesting city.

Slayerettes: Dusted – 1 Fail – 3

8/13/98 -- Oz

We finally got one. At least we seemed to get Xander’s idea right. Willow distracted the new vamp while he and I got a jump on it from behind. I can’t say I liked the way she did it, though. It took too long for us to get there and the vamp got a little too close to her for comfort. Unless we get a lot better at it, this strategy isn’t going to last long.

Updates:

Giles: Phoenix – No luck.

Slayerettes: Dusted – 2 Fail – 4

8/22/98 – Xander

Scores:

Big Guy: Ashland, Or., Nashville, Tn., Reno, Nv. – No, no, no.

Us: Dusted – 3 Fail – 6

9/1/98 – Willow

It’s finally September. School starts at the end of the month. In a couple of weeks Giles will have to go back to start getting the library ready for the school year. I’m glad about this. It will give him something to focus on besides the fact that Buffy hasn’t come home yet. I think he’s always known that if she doesn’t want to be found he doesn’t have a chance. But he’s her Watcher and not trying would feel like failing her all over again. We’ve all tried to convince him that the things that happened weren’t his fault. He tells us he knows that, but I don’t think he believes it. One slip of the tongue while he was being tortured and his mind invaded, and he’ll blame himself for the rest of his life. I wish I could find a spell or something to make it so it never happened.

Scores:

Giles: Durham, Nc., Orlando, Fl. – No Buff. He hated Orlando. He said it was even more sunny and tacky than here. I think the good rant he had about it did him good though.

Slayerettes: Dusted – 5 Fail – 7. Hey, we’re catching up!

9/10/98 – Xander

Giles went to Tijuana this week. Me and Oz begged to go with him. He just gave us that look, like he knew we just wanted to goof off and get in trouble. I am hurt by his assumption. It’s not like we’re total delinquents. Our plan wasn’t to get in trouble. It was to get G-man in trouble! Come on, the guy has to let off some steam or he’s gonna blow a gasket sooner or later. But we were the last people he wanted to take to Mexico. All work and no play makes the Watcher a dull boy. I do really hope he finds something down there.

As for Vamp-fighters-R-us: Dusted – 6 Fail – 8. Been a quiet week.

9/16/98 –Willow

I was supposed to meet Giles at the school this morning. Classes start in a little over a week and he has to unpack the shipments of new textbooks, get them scanned in, and make sure they’re ready for the right teachers. I was gonna help him with all that, but he wasn’t there. I got a book to sit down to wait, but before I knew it over an hour had passed. It’s not like Giles to be late. He counts it as a sin. So, I got scared and called Oz to meet me at his apartment.

When I got there Oz was standing in the living room looking around. He’d just gotten there and hadn’t found anything yet. We called, but the place was quiet. He went to check the loft while I looked around the downstairs for clues. That’s when I found him in the kitchen. He was sprawled on the floor, pale and unconscious. I freaked and screamed for Oz. By the time he got back, I was sitting on the floor with Giles’ head in my lap. Oz handed me a cool towel and I started running it over his face. After what seemed like an eternity, his eyes finally fluttered open.

We got him some water and helped him drink. When the confusion wore off, I could tell he wasn’t happy. He, of course, expressed his gratitude to us. But he was upset that we had seen him so weak again. He was disappointed in his own body.

When we were able to move him to the couch, he explained that he remembered going in to fix himself breakfast before coming to meet me, and then nothing. He must have collapsed from exhaustion. No one can push themselves as hard as he does for so long and not feel the effects. He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep… What does he expect?

We made him rest on the couch while we fixed some food. Then we all sat down and ate together. That way it was just breakfast with friends and he didn’t feel like we were trying to nurse him again. His color was a lot better after he ate, and he seemed in a better mood, too. When I asked him when the last time he slept was, he wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I knew he had just gotten back from Baltimore, but he went right back into searching the papers and didn’t sleep. He finally told me three days, but I think that was his low estimate, trying not to worry me too much.

That was it. I sent him straight to bed. When he tried to argue, I told him he could either go to sleep or we could knock him out. And we all know his doctor wouldn’t hesitate to give us the drugs to do it. He said he had to work, and Oz and I told him we would cover for him and get all the computer stuff done while he slept. I was ready to drag him up to bed and knock him out with a mallet. Giles finally admitted he was very tired and promised to get some rest.

When we left, he was taking off his jacket and tie, trying to convince me he was really going to bed. We spent the rest of the day in the library, doing the computer labeling and scans. Snyder only showed up once and seemed to believe us when we told him Giles was in another building. He didn’t seem to want to be there anyway.

I know we talked about Giles working too hard before, but I always thought it was the only way to keep him from losing it. But, if he’s not going to watch his health, we have to. I’ve had it up to here with the finding of the unconscious Giles!

9/29/98 – Xander

Well… I’d say Giles has been being more careful since Wil found him passed out. I think he was really embarrassed about that. But, in true Willow form, she’s been more concerned with him taking care of himself than anything else. I’m pretty sure she calls him every night to make sure he remembers to sleep. Most nights we know he probably tells her what she wants to hear and goes right back to working, but if she can get him to sleep just a few more hours than he would have, that’s something.

School starts tomorrow. I know it’s eating at Giles because it will cut his trips to weekends. I went to see Ms. Summers, to mow the lawn like I have been, and I can tell it’s wearing on her too. This is the time she should be going school shopping with her daughter and getting supplies, but her daughter’s nowhere to be found. And then there’s the rest of us. We’re gonna be seniors. It’s the year we should all have been looking forward to, but our best friend won’t be there. How weird is it that I know I’m going to walk into the school and just expect to see Buffy there? God, it’s been a craptastic summer.

One more thing. Cordy should be back tonight. I’ll see her at school tomorrow. Wonder if she’ll still likes me.

Score: Dusted – 8 Fail – 13

10/6/98 – Willow

BUFFY’S HOME!!! The four of us were out on patrol and she just showed up out of nowhere. There were so many emotions, I think we all went numb for a moment. It was Xander who asked her if she’d gone to see Giles yet. When she said no, I saw a little bolt of anger shoot through his eyes. I know how he felt. I felt it to. It was bad enough that she abandoned all of us, but coming back and not letting Giles know she was all right… Yes, her mom was the most important, but a phone call would have killed her? He went through so much. But she doesn’t know any of it.

We knocked on his door, and when he opened it I know he was just expecting the usual patrol report from us. But when he saw Buffy… He didn’t say anything for a long time, but his eyes lit up like I haven’t seen them in so many months. It was beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. We could see so many things he wanted to say to her, but nothing came out until he simply invited us all in. His joy was subtle, but it was there. I think, in that moment, he fully regained all his Britishness. The sad part is that it means the summer is truly over. I’d be surprised if he accepted any kind of help from us anymore.

The Slayer is back, and that means he has to be the stalwart Watcher again. Supporting her quietly from the shadows. At least that’s where he’s comfortable, where he’s happy.

Giles didn’t say anything to Buffy about the things that happened. I’m thinking we should follow his lead and wait to talk to her about what happened to him. It’s not our place if he wants to wait.

10/7/98 – Cordelia Chase

First, this has to be the most depressing book I’ve ever read. I’m glad you guys took such good care of him while I was gone, but damn, how much does the guy have to take.

Anyway, Buffy’s back and it’s drama city again. If Xander says one more thing to me about her acting as if she’d done nothing to effect anyone else… What did he expect? She’s Buffy. And people think I’m a diva.

So now everyone wants to throw a party for her. Yeah, this should go over well.

10/9/98 – Xander

We did the party thing for Buffy. It was crowded and loud and none of us knew what to say to her. There was so much, and it was so long, and she just wanted us to act like everything was the same. Well, it wasn’t. But we can’t tell her about the times we went to her house and knew her mom had been crying. We can’t tell about Giles barely being able to walk and take care of himself for weeks after what Angel did to him. We can’t tell her that Angel was probably going to rape and kill Willow and Cordy, that Me and Oz might have been next in that torture chair just for the fun of it. And that Giles and the rest of us still have nightmares about that vampire. And I can’t tell her that Willow needed her best girlfriend, that I needed to talk to her at least once a day, and that it hurt so much that she wasn’t there.

We didn’t know what to say, until we started saying things. Then WE were what was loud and uncomfortable and hurtful. And I know it was me doing a lot of shouting, but I was so angry and you know how my temper boils until it explodes. I hate that I exploded at Buffy, but there were things she needed to know.

Well, there’s nothing quit as healing as a zombie attack. Welcome back, Buffy, Sunnydale loves you! When those windows busted in I might have pissed myself a little, but it was us and Buffy fighting side by side. And when the dust settled, there stood the Slayer, and her Watcher, and her mother, and the Slayerettes. The good guys won, like it should be.

I’m not saying that everything is like it was now, that can never be. But we’re ok now. We can all move on together.

Part 9