Fic: In a Corner of My Soul: Comfort

[dragonyphoenix]

Ah, I can't believe it's almost the end of the month already! I've been so busy falling for ineffable husbands - "To the world." - that I seem to have abandoned my first love. I will start catching up on my SoG reading today.

Title: this is a scene from my Giles as the Big Bad story In a Corner of My Soul. (Note: I don't know why the text for this link is larger than the rest of the text. Totally not my doing; DW I'm looking at you!) For those unfamiliar with the story, Rupert Giles has multiple personalities and so Giles and Rupert are not the same.
Characters: Giles/Ethan
Rating: Mature, adult, not work safe
Setting: During Out of Mind; Out of Sight. Giles has a lair, as Big Bad beings do, in the form of a supposedly abandoned mansion
Summary: Giles is worried. Ethan comforts him.
Author's Note:

• Almost five years since I posted the first chapter and, yes, I'm still writing it!
• A fairly final version of this scene but I'm changing the ending a bit so other chapters are on their first drafts. *shakes head*
  

 

The dawn rose as bright as … actually Ethan had no metaphor for the view of the dawn from the window of Giles’ mansion. He’d seen it often enough even if only in the memories they’d shared during the enjoinment ritual. The man’s excruciating sense of duty forced him to rise abominably early on a regular basis. Ethan had no desire to experience the view in person. As he took in the angle of the light, he realized that he wasn’t, that it was well past dawn, possibly as late as early afternoon which was almost as bad. He hadn’t had nearly enough sleep. The night before Giles had bounced between believing that Angelus had skipped town and a steely determination to hunt the vampire down that very minute, a determination Ethan had been hard pressed to keep in check. In the end he’d enticed Giles into bed. After, Giles had fallen off quickly while Ethan enjoyed the afterglow and wondered how long it would last.

Tossing on a lounging robe from Giles’ closet, a Derek Rose if Ethan had to guess, not silk but it’d do for now, Ethan sauntered downstairs. He found Giles in the kitchen pouring a cup of tea. Giles wasn’t wearing tweed, thank the Gods, but even dressed in jeans and a Versace short-sleeved polo he still had a get down to business air about him. “Care to share or should I wonder what could possibly be more alluring than I am?”

Giles started pacing. “You can’t be serious. Angelus knows about Eyghon …”

“Not proven,” Ethan interrupted. “Besides, we agreed that he’s fled Sunnydale. He knows the Aurelian Amulet has been activated. He’s not about to stay around for someone to charge it back up, incapacitate him, hunt him down, and kill him like a dog in the street. He knows he’s vulnerable. He’s not about to stay here.”

“We didn’t agree. You insisted and then distracted me with sex.” At Giles’ words, a Cheshire Cat grin took over Ethan’s face as he closed his eyes to better recollect the night. “Besides,” Giles continued, “the Council is nosing about.”

The Council wasn’t nosing about Sunnydale or not exactly. They’re hired the Order of St. Michael, a mercenary company whose ranks were filled with black-sheep sons of Watcher lines. Rupert might have taken that route himself if he hadn’t been so intent on becoming a rock star. “Yes, and of course they’re here because you idiotically invoked Eyghon into Weirick and allowed him to escape.” Ethan’s annoyed tone enhanced rather than hid his sarcasm. His little summary wasn’t quite how it’d gone down but it was how Giles saw it.

“You’re saying they aren’t in Sunnydale to spy on me?”

That’s exactly why they were here. “I’m saying don’t worry quite so much. If they’d recognized Eyghon, they’d have trussed you up and roasted you by now. You’re safe.”

“Safe?”

“Well, safe-ish.”

“How very reassuring.”

“You are in a mood.”

Giles snorted as he leaned against the wall. “Better?”

“Much.” Not really. The room, devoid even of table and chairs, was still far to functional to truly relax in. Ethan reached a hand toward Giles. “Come along, dearheart. There’s nothing to be done at the moment. You might as well relax.” Giles stared as if Ethan were mad. Well, that was hardly new and could easily be ignored. “Trust me.” Giles grimaced but put his hand into Ethan’s and let himself be pulled away from the wall.

Ethan undid the robe. As it fell open, Giles’ lips twitched until Ethan started pulling the cotton belt from the robe’s loops. Giles stepped away. “Ethan,” he objected.

“Hush. You need to let go. You know you do. Let me do this for you.”

Giles, if anything, looked even more tense but he allowed Ethan to tie the cloth across his eyes. Ethan led Giles to the stairs. Keeping Giles’ hands firmly in his, Ethan took a step up. Giles paused, just for a moment after his foot hit the first step, before following. On the fifth step Giles stumbled, jerking forward slightly but righting himself before he could fall into Ethan, and then he stopped. Ethan waited for Giles to move. He didn’t. “Ethan, I … I can’t.”

Ethan stepped down, crowding onto the step with Giles. He brushed his lips over Giles’ but pulled back before he could increase the pressure. This wasn’t Ripper he was playing with. He couldn’t be rough here. It ran against his inclinations but he’d have to be gentle, like a man taming a horse, if he meant to calm this frightened man. Gentle didn’t necessarily mean subtle however. He ran a thumb across the top of Giles’ jeans and pushed one teasing finger down, waiting until Giles’ breath caught before pulling the fabric of his shirt up, not enough to completely untuck the shirt but enough for Ethan to raise his hand up Giles’ torso, skin to skin.

Taking Giles’ hands in his again, Ethan took one step up. “Yes you can, dearest. Just take one step. Come on, you can do this.”

Giles took an eager step up and Ethan rewarded him with a kiss, firmer than before but still not rough. It was still too soon for a wilder sort of play. He kissed Giles again before stepping away, leading and enticing his lover up the stairs.

As Ethan led him into the bedroom, Giles steps shortened into small lurches as if he were being dragged by a chain. He stopped just inside the doorway. “Ethan, you can’t expect me to …”

“I don’t expect anything, dearheart, except that you take one step into the room.” He tugged gently and Giles stepped forward twice. “Good, that’s enough. You don’t have to do anything more.”

Giles’ laugh was short and bitter. “Except bloody well trust you.”

The words stung. “You’ve been in my thoughts. Do you honestly believe I’d hurt you?”

“No, but …” Giles shook, tossing his head from side to side. With a sigh, a release of the hurt, Ethan held him. “But I can’t trust myself, Ethan. I don’t know what I’ll do if I let go.”

“Trust me, then. Trust that I’ll catch you. Trust that I’ll keep you from going too far. All you have to do is trust me. You can do that, yes?”

As Giles closed his eyes, the tension dropped from him like a wall crumbling into bricks.

Words wouldn’t help here so Ethan leaned in with a kiss, nuzzled along Giles’ jawline, and ran caresses up Giles’ back. He pushed the shirt up until Giles raised his arms, allowing Ethan to pull the shirt off. With a hungry hand, Ethan grabbed Giles’ ass and pressed himself hard against Giles’ jeans as if so desperate he couldn’t stop to remove them. It wan’t far from the truth. Ripper’d always had that effect on him.

Giles pressed closer, rubbing his hardness against Ethan’s cock. Ethan stepped back. This wasn’t what he wanted. Well, no, that was a total lie. This was exactly what he wanted, but it wasn’t what Giles needed. “What do you want, dearest?”

Giles blushed as if words were more intimate than actions. “I … Ethan, you know.”

“Yes, I do.” Reaching forward, Ethan drew one teasing finger down Giles’ torso, stopping at the top of his jeans. He ghosted a finger over the bulge and then slowly, slowly drew the zipper down. Giles shimmied out of his pants. “Impatient, are we?” Ethan wrapped his hand around Giles’ cock. “Hmm, the little fellow does seem quite excited. What do you think I should do about that?”

“Ethan!”

He paused for a long look. Giles, still blindfolded and beautifully naked, arched forward as if he could draw Ethan to him by the sheer force of his desire. Ethan opened a drawer. At the sound, Giles stopped, standing as still as a deer hiding from a wolf. “Ethan?”

“This was never just about sex, Giles.” He brushed the handcuffs against Giles’ torso as if the man didn’t already know exactly what he’d pulled from the drawer.

“I don’t know if I can,” Giles stuttered.

“You don’t have to do anything. Just let me have control. You can do that, Giles. You can.”

Ethan gently pushed Giles to the bed, kissing him as he wound cuffs around bedposts and then hands and ankles, and remembering the violence Giles had thrust upon the last young man he’d had in this position. Giles’ muscles tensed as if waiting for a blow. Ethan glanced down at his cock. Giles’ interest had flagged. Disappointing but only to be expected. “Shh, I’m not about to hurt you. You know that.”

As if to belie his words, Ethan brought out his teeth, nibbling not gently but not hard enough to leave marks. Pinching and twisting Giles’ nipples, Ethan rubbed against his cock which did not harden. Ethan pulled his lips and hands away and sat on the bed, his legs folded around Giles, and waited.

Giles was crying underneath the blindfold. “Ethan, what I did …” No, not Giles. This was Rupert. “I deserve …”

Ethan kissed Rupert quickly before he could finish the sentence. “I’m not here to punish you. This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.”

“It is. If I hadn’t invoked …”

Ethan kissed Rupert again before he could say the demon’s name. “Shh, don’t speak. Not now.” He removed the cuffs and sat next to Rupert. “Don’t think on it. Rest.”

But Rupert couldn’t rest. Turning away from Ethan, he curled in on himself. He tried to hide the tears, but Ethan could see his body shake. With nothing else he could do, Ethan spooned in behind Rupert and held him through the tears.