Seeing that I wouldn't be able to finish it in time, I tried to write a shorter, simpler fic. It also got too complicated. Approaching the 11th hour and with neither fic anywhere near finished, I resorted to this, free verse poetry.

Haha, the best laid plans! Still came together quite nicely, though the enumeration of each person did make me think of the The Gashlycrumb Tinies, (which would not be out of place given their doings!)