Start Over (1/2)

[the_huffster]

 Title: Start over
Pairing: Giles/Buffy
Rating: PG
Setting: 2 and a half years post Chosen
Word count: 1,322
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: Five months after a very bad breakup, Giles finds himself having to share a hotel room with his ex-girlfriend during the Council's Christmas party. What could possibly go wrong?
Author's Note: Part 2 will be posted tomorrow for my last day. This is also being posted without a beta, so if you see anything please feel free to let me know.

Giles sighed as he made his way to the hotel room he’d be staying in for the weekend. He still wasn’t sure why he had agreed to still come to this ridiculous function; everyone used it as an excuse to get drunk at the Council’s expense anyways, and he had moved on from that stage in his life. He couldn’t even say he was attending the Christmas party to see all of his friends since they hadn’t exactly kept contact with him in the last five months.

If it wasn’t work related, Willow and Xander tended to keep encounters with him to a minimum. Not that he could really blame them. In the eyes of everyone close to him, he was the bad guy when it came to his relationship with Buffy. He was the reason things had ended as badly as they had with the Slayer, and it was something he took full responsibility for because it was the truth. The only one who still willingly talked to him was Dawn, but even that was limited.

The Watcher shook his head when he reached his hotel room, sliding the key into the slot. He heard the door unlock and made his way inside, looking forward to relaxing before what he knew would be an awkward night filled with questions about his love life from the younger Watchers and Slayers.

Of course, any thought about relaxing quickly went out he window when he saw a familiar blonde standing by the bed. Giles swallowed when Buffy’s head snapped up to look at him. As flashes of the last time they were in a room together played in his mind, he prepared himself to dodge anything she might throw in his direction.

“Are you kidding me?” she demanded. “Why are you in my hotel room?”

“Your hotel room? This is the room that was reserved for me, Buffy.” He said as he tried to keep his emotions in check. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if he played into her.

“You need to get a new room then.” He just stared at her. She rolled her eyes when he made no move and walked over to the phone. “Fine, I’ll just have you moved to another room myself.”

He watched as the Slayer called down to the front desk. The conversation didn’t last long and, judging from her expression, it hadn’t gone the way she wanted it to. He leaned against the wall as she spun around to look at him, the anger written plainly on her face.

“Is this your way of trying to get me back?” Buffy accused, her arms folded across her chest.

“Why in the world would I do that?” he asked with an eye roll.

“I don’t know, Giles. I obviously don’t know you as well as I thought I did.” She shook her head as a way to get back on track. “There’s no more hotel rooms available which makes me wonder why you didn’t change the reservations after we broke up?”

“It slipped my mind, Buffy. I have other things that are slightly more important to deal with considering I’m running the Council now.” He pointed out.

He could feel her eyes on him as he walked further into the room. He kept his back to her as he looked over the couch that was tucked away in the corner; glad to see it pulled out into a smaller bed.  The Watcher was hyperaware that Buffy was still staring at him as he placed his suitcase on what would be his bed for the night. 

Giles knew that this would be the perfect excuse for why he wouldn’t be attending the party, and no one would really blame him. It hadn’t even been five minutes before the hint of an argument hung in the air. He sighed softly and turned around, fully intending to tell Buffy he was going to leave.

“Why are you even here? It’s not like you have a ton of friends you haven’t seen in a while.” Her tone was sharp and it was clear that she was trying to push his buttons.

And just like, all of his intentions were lost.

“My whole life doesn’t revolve around you and the others, Buffy. It might be a bit of a surprise, but I do have a life away from you.” It was childish, but if she wanted to play this game then he would play.

“If you have to sign their paychecks for people to be around you, then they’re not really your friends.” The flash in her eyes should have warned him that their conversation was about to take a turn, but he had somehow missed it. “Besides, aren’t you too old?”

There it was. His jaw clenched as she threw his own words back him. Granted, it was in a completely different context but they were still his words.

“You know damn well that isn’t what I meant, Buffy.” He said.

“The way I see it, Giles, if you’re too old to start a family then you’re too old for shit like this.” She snapped as she stared at him. “You knew before we ever got together that I wanted kids. I have always wanted a family of my own, and you knew that. If I hadn’t gotten pregnant, would you have ever told me that you didn’t want kids?”

“It was a false positive.” He corrected.

Giles wanted to take a few steps back at the glare Buffy sent his way, but he stayed where he stood and just stared at her. The end of their relationship hadn’t been his finest moment, but he stood by what he had said. Perhaps he should have worded everything better, fought harder to explain his reasons for not wanting kids.

“Would you have ever told me if that hadn’t happened?” Buffy asked softly, so softly that he could hear the hurt she still felt.

“I would have. I mean, I’m in my fifties Buffy. Any chance of having a family of my own passed by a long time ago.” He told her. “If I have children, I’d like to be around to see them grow up. And at this point in my life, that probably wouldn’t happen.”

“So instead you’d just want to leave me with nothing to remember you? Maybe you wouldn’t get to see our kids grow up, but I’d have a piece of you still with me.” The Slayer shook her head slightly and sighed almost in defeat. “People have kids in their fifties, Giles. Maybe you just don’t want kids with me.”

“Not everything is about you, Buffy. When I say that I think I’m too old to start a family now, that’s what I mean. I’m not trying to hide a different meaning from you.” Giles ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath in an effort to control his frustration. “I know you want to blame me for why our relationship failed, but your selfishness is also at fault. You want the world to revolve around you and while you are the love of my life, sometimes the best thing I can do is think about myself.”

Buffy just looked at him before scoffing. She took a step forward and this time he allowed himself to take a step back.

“I’m selfish? I’m not the one asking the person I love to give up the one thing they have always wanted just because I’m afraid I won’t be around long.” She practically hissed. “You are so caught up in this being too old bullshit excuse that you can’t even see what you want me to sacrifice. Forgive me for wanting to make the most of my time with the man I love.”

Giles just stood there as she turned to walk towards the en suite bathroom, flinching when the door slammed shut behind her.