wow. i'm sorry, i'm overusing that phrase, but this is AWESOME!! Stunning. It's just .... it makes me want to swear and curl up in a ball and dance and sorta cry a little bit all at the same time. I love how buffy's thoughts go from being in the moment to out of it, back and forth in a pendulum that catches the reader up (and wow, the sex was wonderfully hot!) and at the same time there's this underlying dread of losing her mother that never goes away. The second to last paragraph is fantastic, period. And really, now what?? You leave us on the knife edge of knowing and not knowing.